He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. Proverbs 11:13
Did you hear what so and so did? Thus begins the phrase of the talebearer. The sin of gossip is alive and well in our world - at least that's what I heard from a friend of mine who has it on good authority that people are gossipping about others. But for anyone who has ever been hurt by those who spread falsehoods about them, gossip is a very harmful thing. The "tabebearer" is the one who gossips. The word means to spread falsehoods about someone. This particular word has the distinction of never being used in a positive way. Gossip was expressly forbidden in the Mosaic Law in Leviticus 19:16, and the book of Proverbs is not terribly high on it either. When the Jeremiah and Ezekiel were declaring the prophesies that gave them - the Lord said some strong words against it as well. The main condemnation here though is how a gossip "reveals secrets." Confidentiality is at the root of this issue. Information about others - especially that which is shared in confidence - is to remain a secret to all but the two who have shared it together. That confidence is shattered when someone takes the information and makes it public. The gossip goes even further and adds to the damaging information to make it worse. A pastor who was the brunt of a woman's gossip in a city had his reputation severely damaged by what this woman said. She later came to him and apologized for saying the things she said. The story is told that he asked her to come with him to the bell tower in the church. As they stood overlooking the town, he took a feather pillow and tore it open. He then let the wind take the feathers and spread them into the sky where they immediately went a hundred different directions. The woman, puzzled by his actions, asked why he did this. He said to her, "I can forgive you for what you've said - but the damage falsely done to my reputation is as far spread as the feathers we just released. To undo that damage you would have to do out and track down every feather." This illustration hopefully will help us see the ultimate damage done by gossip. Everyone who heard our juicy tidbit may tell another - and that one another - until the ability to track down everyone who has passed the gossip on becomes utterly impossible. The second half of this proverb reminds us that the faithful one is the one who is trustworthy. This one conceals the matter. The idea conveyed by the word "trustworthy" is one who supports, nurtures, and establishes another person. It is used as the term for the comfort and support a baby receives from the arms of its parent. Whether we initially realize it or not, when someone shares painful intimate details of their lives with us - we can either cradle them in our arms, providing love and support, or we can crush them and cause great pain. People share these painful things because they need the nurture and encouragment of someone who will love and conceal these things. They don't conceal them to be an accessory to their sin. They conceal them from others only because they are taking the confidence shared with them seriously. This information was shared so that we might help bring God's healing to their hearts. The information was shared so that we might counsel and encourage them - seeing the pain soothed rather than exacerbated. If you want to know why God would allow you to know anything harmful about your brothers or sisters in Christ, it is so that you might be a part of God's healing in their lives. The primary thing God wants you to do with this information is to PRAY! You were given these embarassing details so that you might intercede for the person - and be an instument of grace and mercy in their lives. God wants to use you to aid this person in recovery. Don't take such information lightly. You are being given a precious trust. You've just been handed the very heart of that person. Handle with prayer and with loving biblical care. Conceal the matter to all except God, Who knows already - and who has just brought you into the situation to be His instrument of love, concern, and godly counsel. This is the choice of the wise man or woman - and it is one that shows you are worthy of God's trust. Carry that heart as you would a newborn baby. To God it is just as precious and worthy of loving care.
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The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Proverbs 10:11
God speaks a great deal about "a fountain of life." That is why it is truly amazing to read that God says the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. Let's take a look at what the Word says about being a fountain of life - and learn to embrace the wisdom of having our mouth be all that this means. In Psalm 36:9 we read that the people of God are given the blessing of drinking the fill of God's presence in His house - and also to drink of the rives of God's delights. These things are said to bring us to know that God is the fountain of life. A second time in Psalm 68:26 God is called the fountain of Israel. Thus we see that "a fountain of life" coming from our mouths is simply that we speak of the Lord and the things of the Lord. This is confirmed further as we learn that Proverbs 13:14 tells us that the teaching of the wise is a fountain of life. As we experience these wonderful words, they teach us to turn aside from the snares of death - the sin that can ensnare us and destroy us if left undealt with in life. Proverbs 14:27 tells us that the fear of the LORD is a fountain of life - again telling us that when we live according to it, we will avoid the snares of death. Proverbs 16:22 reminds us that understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it - keeping us from the discpline of fools. All these various statements tell us something wonderful. To be a fountain of life - a righteous man or woman whose mouth flows forth with the blessing of God, we should strive to have all these things at work in us. That means that we embrace God Himself as the source of all that we offer to others - all that we speak and say. We know that God is also the one who allows us to teach and speak that life to others. But as we do, we also fear God and embrace understanding things as He does - speaking them as He would speak them to us. (Remember that the earliest definition of wisdom we had was that it was seeing things as God sees them.) As we speak according to the fear of God - speaking with His understanding, His wisdom as we teach others - we will be not just a fountain of life - but a fountain that protects them from death - its snares and its lies. The opposite of the fountain of life is what the mouth of the wicked offers to us. The wicked is speaking - but he is speaking falsehood - and he is not offering to others a fountain of life. What he offers is concealed violence. Since selfishness reigns in his life - he doesn't have a desire for others to be blessed. Deep down he wants what they have - he wants things for himself. There is not a fountain that flows outward - in giving life to others. He has a type of vortex that sucks all things toward himself. And when things begin to move toward taking something from him, no longer making him the center of things - he responds with violence. The example of this is best seen in the example of Saul. When he realized that God was taking the kingdom from him and giving it to another - he became very paranoid . . . and very violent. He watched as God blessed David - and it drove him crazy. He tried to pin David to the wall with a spear - tried to kill him by the hand of the Philistines - tried to kill him in his bed even while David was married to his daughter - and when his son, Jonathan stood up for David, even tried to kill him by throwing a spear at him. What flowed from Saul's heart was violence, even though he tried to conceal it with his mouth. It was eventually revealed that he was filled not with love and live - but with violence and hate. What is coming out of your mouth? Jesus let us know that what comes out of our mouths is what dwells in our hearts. He desires for life to flow out of us - for blessing to be what is spoken as we speak. But that will only happen as we embrace the righteousness that God offers to us in Christ. The way that we receive "the mouth of the righteous" is by embracing the only One Who can make us righteous, Jesus Christ. It is only as His life fills us through the Holy Spirit that we will have that mouth that blesses. May God give us the wisdom to embrace Him - and in so doing - have Him gloriously transform our mouth to speak so as to give life and blessing to all who hear us. Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Proverbs 25:11
There are certain people who know just what to say at the perfect moment. Something needs desperately to be said and they are the ones who usually say it. Whether you know it or not, it is wisdom that gives them the ability to say these kinds of things. Like apples of gold in settings of silver. Now there is something that is worth a little. You can imagine this artwork as not only being beautiful to the eye - but also of amazing wealth as well. It is the kind of thing one would hang on a wall as a decoration, but would also have listed as a very valuable asset too. This is equated to how very valuable a word spoken just at the right time is. This statement speaks of how appropriate words used just at the right moment in time can be invaluable to someone. We see Jesus doing this again and again in His life. When attacked by the Pharisees and Saducees with a question they think is unanswerable without incrimination, Jesus speaks the perfect word at the perfect time. This kind of ability and skill is a wonderful thing to have when counselling or when offering comfort to those who are hurting or have just lost a loved one. In order to be able to say these kinds of things we need to have an ear open in two directions. First, we need to have our ears open to God. He is the One who can give us the perfect thing to say - because He is the One who can see into every heart and know just what to say. Knowing and being able to communicate God's Word in one-on-one situations is such a blessing to those who receive it. But to know these kinds of statements, we must walk close to God. Second, we need to have our ears open to those around us. Far too many people are never able to speak these kinds of words, because they don't even know that others around them need to hear them. So preoccupied are they with their own trials and troubles - or honestly with their own desires - that they don't hear the hearts of those who are struggling and in desperate need of a word of encouragement and edification. James encourages us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. That kind of wisdom will allow us to hear others - to hear their hurts and their problems - so that we can apply the Word of God in a way that brings healing and grace to them. It will be then that we can offer these apples of gold in settings of silver to those around us who desperately need to hear more than just words - they need to hear the right words - the perfect words for their circumstances. There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19
What does God hate? This is a good question to ask - because the Lord actually lists for us 7 different things that He hates. Some think that God doesn't hate anything because He is love. But when you realize that whereas He loves righteousness and holiness - it means that by nature He must hate the opposite - and that is sin. This is a good list to remember because it reminds us of at least 7 things we absolutely need to steer clear of in life. We do this because we do not want to incur God's wrath for loving something He hates. #1 - God hates Haughty Eyes . . . The proud look is something the Lord really despises. The eyes, according to Scripture, are the windows of the soul. When the eyes are filled with a haughty look it is a sure thing that the heart is filled with that same haughtiness or pride. We remember from the book of James that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. It is no stretch then to say that in hating haughty eyes God truly despises those whose look communicates an arrogance and pride that shows that they have no respect for God and His ways - just an utter disdain of them. #2 - God hates a Lying Tongue . . . One of the 10 commandments is not to bear false witness. That means lying is out with God. He is a God of truth, and He wants us to speak the truth. When a tongue is a lying tongue, God hates the lies that come from it. Truth opposes lies at every turn - and we can be assured that God opposes the liar whose lying tongue promotes just the opposite of what God loves and is. #3 - God hates Hands that Shed Innocent Blood . . . Here is one that we need to remember. Innocent blood is murder. God hates murder. Once again we find that one of the things God hates is listed in the 10 commandments. You shall not murder is commandment number five. Jesus goes further in Matthew chapter 5 when He tells us that even the thoughts and words that are at the core of a murdering heart - God hates. There is an application of this we also need to remember. The false god Molech required that his worshippers have their children pass through the fire as a child sacrifice to him. God hated this worship - and made it clear that the innocent blood shed in this practice would pay dearly for their sin. I believe we have a similar worship today in the practice of abortion. This practice is an abomination to God. We have decided that children (usually conceived due to sexual immorality) are too much of an inconvenience. Therefore we've devised the most heinous ways of disposing of them. We burn them alive through saline abortions or puree them within their mother's womb. And if this is not enough, when we wait too long to decide to dispose of one's conceived immorally, we just birth them partially and kill them in a way that we would NEVER consider for a convicted murderer. How God hates this shedding of innocent blood. #4 - God Hates a Heart that Devises Wicked Plans . . . There are hearts that are thinking of evil - and who begin to plan to do evil. This is true even of us when we set our hearts on sin and want to do our best to keep it hidden. But there are those whose plans involve far more than just one man wanting to sin without being caught. These are those who devise a wicked plan either in business or in the government. These plans will harm thousands - and possibly millions. They do not consider that their wicked plans will do this - because they are consumed either by the acquisition of wealth or power. God hates these people because of how their thinking harms others. #5 - God Hates Feet that Run Rapidly to Evil . . . Here we have someone who is just itching to run to evil things. There is no restraint in this one - because when he or she sees evil - they want to run "rapidly" to it. When a society turns from God - there is a growing stupidity and spiritual deadness that causes them to become insensitive to the warnings of Scripture. Thus they start to run to evil - rather than stop and think about the harm it will do to them and to others. When people run rapidly to evil it is also a sign that self is so completely dominant in their thinking that they are deaf to any other voice except the one that is urging them to do what they want. God hates this because it reveals that a conscience is dead to Him and dead to the warnings of both the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit. #6 - God Hates A False Witness Who Utters Lies . . . Here we have what seems to be a second time that lying is mentioned. This second time though it is mentioned in the context of someone who is a false witness on a matter. This first time is was just a lying tongue. The false witness could be someone who speaks lies in a courtroom where the role of perjury comes into play. This would mean a perversion of justice and God loves justice and righteousness. It can also mean a false prophet or someone who lies about religious matters - thus causing some to put their faith in a god who is not God at all. Either way God hates it when someone who lies as a witness on a matter. They encourage people to make decisions based upon deception and lies. No wonder He hates these things - because the very first sin was due to the work of the devil as he was a false witness to Eve about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That lie, that deceit - when believed was the impetus that led to the fall of all of humanity into sin and rebellion against God. #7 - God Hates One who Spreads Strife Among Brothers . . . The final thing in this list of seven is a person who is causing problems - actually who is spreading strife among the brethren. This person is one who either learns of strife - or is causing it. He is not content though we knowing it himself. He becomes the ultimate evangelist for strife among the brethren. He wants to see as many people upset and involved in this strife as possible. It should be no small wonder to us then that God does not say, "Blessed are the strife-makers." He says just the opposite. It is the peacemakers who will be called the sons of God. When God could have magnified the ultimate strife of the universe in sin - He did not. He chose to make peace through the blood of the cross of Jesus Christ. Therefore it really should be no shock to us that He also hates those who go the opposite way - and spread strife rather than spread peace among the brothers. We might need to remember this the next time we have a choice to continue a situation of strife and conflict - when we have an opportunity to bring peace instead. Seven things God hates . . . it is a very sobering list. There are some things like murder and wicked plans that we would fully expect to be on this list. But other things that we tend to minimize tend to shock us here. Some call lying just telling a little fib - or a white lie. Others might not see spreading strife by gossipping to be something that is not the best - but certainly something that everyone does. The fact is that when God calls these things the seven things He hates - we need to remember them - and then learn to hate them in our own lives as well. That, my dear saints - is wisdom. My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16
What should matter most to us when we think of our sons? I know for a period of my life what mattered most to me was seeing my sons excel at sports. I could have sadly rewritten these two verses with the following foolish edits. "My son, if you do well at football and soccer, my own heart also will be glad; and my flesh will rejoice when I can cheer at your games for your goals and touchdowns." (Dopey Father 23:15-16) First of all I want to state that I am not against sports or competitive activities. When God graciously broke me he still allowed my sons to compete in sports - and I continued to cheer for them on the sidelines. Oh, but how I grieved for the years that I had lost - and for the way I had skewed their minds on what was a priority in their lives. During that time period we set everything aside for their sports careers. We spent tremendous amounts of money following them all over the mid-south (which, by the way, put us into debt). I had my sweet wife miss church along with my sons, so that we could go wherever the coach told us to go. We basically had a very clear idol in our lives - and it is was the dream I had that maybe one day my sons could play college ball - or even make a pro team. But the most devastating problem that was growing all the time was the misplaced priorities that I was putting before my sons. My own lack of submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life - carried over into my son's lives. This story ends well - because of two things. First and foremost because of God's mercy and grace. But secondly, because of some serious repentance on my part - repentance and brokenness that led me back to a proper life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ - and with proper biblical priorities. Let me get back, though, to the proverb at hand. The father here is speaking of what makes his heart glad. The father here was glad, and later even rejoiced that his son had a wise heart. Wisdom was what this father valued most in his son. And it is a wisdom that sees life as God sees it. The father here lived to see his son one day with a very wise and discerning heart. He labored to see that one day his boy would be a man who longed to do the will of God above anything else in his life. This places before us a very important question. Are we as fathers seeing our most important job as laboring to see our sons become wise, godly young men? Wisdom comes from God. We learned this back in Proverbs 2. If we are going to have wise sons, it will be because we have taught them the things of God. Wise sons come from wise fathers who both know the Word and apply it in our everyday lives. The passion that often drives a "sports-dad" will be re-directed into being a "godly-dad." If the Christian fathers who spend hours trying to hone their son into the next Peyton Manning or the next Landon Donovan, would devote that much time to honing their sons into the next Paul - we'd watch a revolution in the church - and in our society in general. Instead of working on passing and catching skills alone - we'd find ourselves spending time also reading the Word with our child. We'd be working on wisdom skills - on memorizing Scripture - and on being able to take the Word of God an use it to properly discern good and evil as they walked through their lives. I know I may be laboring the point a little bit, but think about this for a moment. How many sons are actually going to be playing sports at the college level? How many truly have a shot at the NFL or MLB or the MLS? And how many who make it to those levels of sport will have a wise and discerning heart there to keep them out of the trouble that seems to be following sportsmen in these sports? The truth is very few will make it to these teams, but everyone single one of those young men will need to be able to live a life of wisdom. All of them - even those who do make it - will need "wisdom skills" to walk through life worthy of their calling in Jesus Christ. If you think your son will make it to a college or pro level - have at it. But Dad, make sure that the most important goal you have for your son is to live a life of wisdom an godliness! Make sure HE knows that this is the true goal - and that which would most delight your heart and soul! The father her also states that his inmost being will rejoice when he hears his son speaking what is right. The inmost being spoken of here is literally kidneys in the Hebrew. Dads, your kidneys need to rejoice over your son! Now there is a phrase you don't hear much anymore. "Hey Bob, man my kidneys just rejoice over how Bob Jr. is growing into a godly young man!" The kidneys were thought, along with the heart, to be the deepest seat of emotion and joy in a person. It referred to the innermost and most private part of a person's life. When you are moved to rejoice at that level, you are rejoicing at the deepest level possible. You rejoice because your heart is blessed at the core level of your beliefs and principles. This leaves me with another loaded question. What is your deepest rejoicing about in life? If you find yourself rejoicing deeply at the touchdowns and sports achievements of others - but yawning at the things of God - the exhibition of godly character and true manhood - you are rejoicing about the wrong things. Let me say, I love a good touchdown like most guys - but God has worked to where I get more excited when I watch my sons make godly decisions. The reason this father was rejoicing in his kidneys was because his son was speaking what is right. This is not that his son was parroting some phrase or some rote speech he knew would make dad happy, but that his son was speaking normally - and was saying what was right. This is an important step for our sons maturity wise. Jesus taught us that it was out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth spoke. So when we hear our sons speaking what is right in their normal conversation - it tells us that God has worked in their hearts. It is easy to get a son to say what YOU want him too when he is around you - but it is far more difficult to rear him to say the right thing (the godly thing) as a matter of normal living. This requires God working in his heart. That is why the father was dancing in his kidneys when he knew his son was speaking this way. Fathers, this proverb is vital for us to grasp. We are called to take boys given to us by God, and rear them to be men. This requires doing far more than just bringing home the bacon - and re-living our desires for sports grandeur through them. Taking a boy and making him a man requires that we put wisdom and godliness at the top of our own priority list, and helping our sons to do the same. It means laboring to see a heart-change in our boys by the working of the gospel and the Spirit of God. It means training our sons to love a woman properly - and to have a vision of what God desires for their lives to be. But I will tell you by the mercies of God that when you watch your sons begin to make godly decisions - no sports achievement in the world can come close to the sensation you will get in your kidneys! Live therefore for the glory of God and the blessing of your kidneys as you labor to take boys - and give the world men of God. The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body. Proverbs 18:8
Gossip is a sin that is too often ignored in the church. We think it is one of those things that is out there - and it will continue to be out there. Many see it almost as a victimless act - but the proverb today lets us know that even if everything looks OK on the outside of this sin - the inner workings of it are very dangerous. The "whisperer" is the gossip. The Hebrew word means one who gossips - but does so by murmuring and complaining. It actually means to excessively complain - and the word is used in passages that create serious relational problems between men - and between man and God. It is combined with other sins like complaining, criticism, faultfinding, and causing trouble. When God experienced these things with Israel in the wilderness in the book of Numbers, He had very strong reactions against it. No matter how we define gossip and a complaining, murmuring spirit - God defines it as very serious wickedness. He deals with this sin very severely. Why is God so opposed to this particular sin? It is because when someone hears gossip and complaining, it is like a dainty morsel to them. Think of gossip like you would your worst craving for a food you know you should not eat. For me this would be homemade chocolate chip cookies. I can resist these for a time - but the problem is that being my version of "dainty morsels" - my ability to resist is limited. Now, if someone set out broccoli puffs, the ability to resist is not a matter of power - it is a matter of not really wanting them in the first place. Thus, some sins are dangerous because of what they present as well as what they promote. Gossip is one of these. Consider your own response to someone who says, "Did you hear about so and so?" Imagine how difficult it is to resist statements like, "I can't believe what I heard the other day about this person." These kind o statements are very difficult to resist. Consider also the gossip magazines that are at the check-out lines at your local grocery store. Why are they so tempting - and why do they sell - even though many times what they say is either completely false - or an exaggeration of the truth. It is because the thought of knowing something about someone else that is supposed to be secret is something that is very difficult to resist. The other reason that this sin is so dangerous is that when we hear these things - Scritpure tells us that they go into the "innermost parts of the body." The literal Hebrew says that these statements go to the chambers of the belly. That is why they are dangerous and difficult to control. These statements of gossip are embedding themselves into the innermost part of our being. We tend to remember and focus on the complaints, the gripes, the criticism and fault-finding that others throw out at us. We look at the person against whom such criticism is leveled with a jaded eye after hearing these things. They color how we see them and how we respond to them - and usually we respond negatively after hearing such things. Unfortunately this is the case whether such things are true or false. That is why the very word used for whisperer here is identified with those who cause relational troubles between people. So how do we deal with this sin - in ourselves and in others. First of all we refuse to participate in gossip ourselves. One principle that is helpful is to use any information we have about others that could be the source of gossip and criticism as fuel for intercessory prayer rather than gossip. When we do this we will insure that we only eat our dainty morsels in the presence of God. There we take such information and use it in mercy - to pray for someone. We never use it for judgment - to injure them with words that we speak to others. Secondly we refuse to listen to gossip from others. Elsewhere in Proverbs we read that an angry countenance will send away a backbiting tongue. Two things I try to do personally when gossip comes my way is to first say that I would prefer not hearing it. When someone seems to want to persist, I then tell them I will listen - but only for the purpose of getting them together with the person with whom they have a problem within a couple of weeks. This has led to two things. It has led to people stopping the gossip from being spoken - and it when someone continues - it has led to me becoming a peacemaker between them and the person with whom they are offended. Oh, and as people have gossipped about how I deal with gossip - it has led to the gossips avoiding me like the plague. Don't let the dainty morsels of gossip lodge themselves into your spirit. Refuse to hear it - and if someone persists take the role of a peacemaker. You will be doing yourself a favor first of all - and secondly, you will be causing blessing to come to the body of Christ as you do your part to stop this sin in its tracks when it seeks to come into your fellowship and divide the saints. The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so. Proverbs 15:7
In life there are those we meet that just spread knowledge that is helpful to our souls. What a wonderful thing it is to meet such a men or woman. They are like an oasis in the midst of our wicked and perverse generation. It is a delight to talk to them - but even more of a delight to listen to what they share. This is the kind of person Proverbs speaks of today. Let's look more at what this today as we examine Proverbs 15:7. The lips put forth words that reveal what is in the heart. Here we see clearly that the wise have knowledge stored up in their hearts while the fool is devoid of it. The word for "spread" is very descriptive. It is an agricultural word that speaks of how a farmer goes into the field and scatters and disperses seed by casting it out on the ground. The wise man is taking every opportunity to cast out the seed so that it can bear a harvest later. Thus the wise man takes the opportunity to put out God's Word for a harvest that will come later in life. The wise man spreads knowledge. He spreads learning but his learning is not just head knowledge or uselessh information. He is spreading the kind of knowledge that leads to discernment, insight, and notion. Let's look at these three words for a moment to gain insight on what the wise man is spreading. When we have discernment we are learning to distinguish between two things that differ. We need to know the difference between good and evil, God's will and the world's mindset, the flesh and the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. The wise see things from God's perspective thus they can help us to learn the subtle and not so subtle differences between what is of God and what is not of God. They also help us gain insight. This word means exactly what it says, in-sight. It is seeing into things and realizing there is usually more to things that just their outward appearance. God says that man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. Therefore if we are going to see things as He does, we will need to see into the heart of a situation. The last word is notion. There's a word that we don't use much any more. Webster defines notion as an conception or impression of something. A notion can also be that conception or impression carried out to a theory or belief about a person, thing, etc. When we speak of the notions we receive from the knowledge of the wise man - these are not just the notions of an average person - but they are notions, beliefs, theories, conceptions and impressions gained from Scripture and from the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. To have a notion based on these things is to gain a way of looking at life - a theolry about people - about the world around you - but one gained from a biblical worldview. The proverb finishes with the fact that the heart of a fool is not like the wise man. He does not offer knowledge to others. He does not spread seed that will sprout and bring a godly harvest of righteousness and peace. His seed is filled with his own foolish notions, theories, and conceptions of life. Since these are governed by his own sinful nature - and by the world around him (remember and think a fallen world that rejects God's revelation and authority) they are useless. These things will bring about a harvest of foolishness and harm. How wonderful it is when we can surround ourselves with wise men and women. How marvelous it is that in our society and with our electronic capabilities we can expose ourselves to great men and women of God - actually hearing them speak - hearing them spread the seed of God's wisdom and Word to us. The truly wise person will seek to be in the range of their voices. A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps. Proverbs 29:5
When I was a kid growing up I heard a phrase that honestly did not make sense to me. The phrase was this, "Flattery will get you no where." When I heard this I was confused. When I heard someone flattering me, all I heard was someone giving me a compliment. Can receiving a compliment be all that bad? Honestly, the things that were said felt pretty good. So what exactly was I missing here? That sense of confusion was compounded when I first read this verse that says that when a man is flattering his neighbor - he is actually spreading a net for his steps. This makes flattery sound like something sinister. Whatever is being said is being used to set a trap. You don't "spreak out a net for someone's steps" for the purpose of blessing them. This was what was done to catch and capture an animal. Here the trap is words - and the prey . . . the prey is me! Most of confusion over flattery can be solved by understanding what flattery actually is. When that question is answered everything else falls into place. The word "flattery" here means to be smooth and slippery. The idea behind this word is that of being faithless, to flatter, or to be smooth. Flattery therefore is smooth and slippery speech - but speech that is meant to lull someone into a false sense of security. The compliment is not genuine. It is meant to disarm someone so that they don't see the trap. The words are subterfuge - like leaves and brush hiding the trap from view. Just as the animal sees the leaves and brush and thinks this is just a normal trail - so the compliment is there to have the one who hears it think all it well. Unfortunately, the animal doesn't see the trap until it is too late - until he is caught. Neither does the unwise one whose pride and ego receive the praise without question - and unwittingly step into the trap! Just about everywhere this word is used in the OT it is used negatively. Flattery is a compliment with an agenda. When someone is flattering you, their kind words do not have a kind or gracious intent behind them. They are smooth and slippery words outwardly - but the agenda behind them is not good. Your compliment is a set-up. There is something behind the glowing compliments - and that is what the person is after. They use the words and your good reaction to them to gain access to you and to your favor. This is the net for your steps. It is laid out for you to step into and be caught. Then the true intent behind their gracious and glowing comments is exposed. A wise man will learn to be gracious about compliments, but never let them be that which causes him to drop his guard. This is even more true when it comes to women who offer him compliments. If the compliment is from your wife, that is fine - but if it is from another woman - be very careful. You can be gracious and thank her for it - but never let it be used to trap you. If you remember a previous Proverb in the early chapters of this book, the immoral woman uses flattery to capture men. That is why you need to be unshakable in your commitment to God and your commitment to your bride. Compliments and flattery can be dangerous things when they are in the hands of those who are using them to disarm us to their real intent. That is why we need to always deflect praise and compliments to God. Were it not for Him and His grace, nothing really could be said of us. Thus we make it a habit to deflect priase unto Him. That is the safest thing to do - and the one way you can be wary of the net that often comes with flattery. Like I said at the beginning, our attitude needs to be, "Flattery will get you no where!" An evildoer listens to wicked lips; A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. Proverbs 17:4
What does it say about us if we are willing to listen to evil thing and to wicked statements? What kind of lesson should we learn from the shame of having listened to someone who says damaging things about others - and their motives are far from pure in saying such things. Anyone who lives in this world knows that there are plenty of people who speak with wicked lips. It is a liability of living in a fallen world that this is the case. So the fact is that we will hear plenty of wicked things said each wek we are alive. But the proverb does not speak about over hearing wicked things being said. It speaks to those who "listen" to these things. Listen is the word "qasab" and it means to listen carefully to something - to pay attention and to give heed to it. Most of all this kind of listening intends eventually to obey what it is listening to when it hears. This is why we read that an evil DOER listens to wicked lips. It is because they listen with an intent to obey and to be influenced in a bad way. When we pay attention to those with a "destructive tongue" we have another problem coming in the future. The destructive tongue is one that speaks so as to cause destruction and calamity. The word in the Hebrew has the idea of someone who has a destructive desire toward others. Here is something that unfortunately has run amok in our society. We have people seeking to destroy others with their words. They want to destroy and cause havoc with what they say. Too often this is the level of political discourse in our country. We have both sides desiring to destroy the other with their words. What everyone pretty much knows is that whatever is said is either blown out of proportion, or is a total lie altogether. Thus, when we listen to such things - we will find ourselves eventually lying just like the ones to whom we listen. Thus the proverb warns us that a liar pays attention to these things. Those who constantly listen to lies will in time speak the same way as they are hearing. These things both begin with what we listen to and pay attention to in our lives. In time what enters our ears will make its way to our hearts - and we know from the Word that what is in our hearts will eventually come out of our mouths. This progression is unavoidable. Therefore we need to heed closely the admonition of Scripture, "Be careful what you listen to!" A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
How we speak to others can either offer them a healing balm or a crushing blow. As we've read in Proverbs, the tongue has amazing power as it speaks words. That is also the case here - where we once again have a choice to make - this time with the words that we speak. The first thing we read of here is that there is such a thing as a healing, soothing tongue. The word here means a tongue that offering healing, a remedy. It refers to a restorative cure, a renewal from an illness or sickness. More is learned when we see a comparison drawn up about this healing tongue. It is compared to a tree of life. There is an image that we see a lot in Scripture. The tree of life was in the garden of eden - it is also in heaven at the end of the age. What is most interesting is that the tree of life refers to Jesus Christ. In the truest way - He is the tree of life. So we have another interesting parallel. Those who use their tongue for healing - for the restorative cure are as a tree of life. Our tongues are to be used to spread the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we do this - we are being a tree of life. THE tree of life is Jesus Christ - and when we share the life-giving, soul-healing message of the gospel - we too are being a tree of life. Remember that Jesus said that He was the light of the world - and He also called us to be the light of the world as we share the truth with others. Here we have the parallel - He is the tree of life and we can be a tree of life as well, sharing the gospel which is the only source to heal and remedy man's sin. There is another way that our tongues can be used though. We are told that when we have perversion in our tongues a different we see different results when we speak. Perversion refers to a distorted way of speaking - a deceitfulness which is said to come from a perversity, not just in how we speak, but in our very life and character. This fits the biblical description of the ungodly man - whose mouth speaks out of the abundance of what fills his heart. Perverse lifestyle equals a perverse mouth. The problem here is that when this man speaks - it crushes the spirit. The word for crush here is "seber" and it means to cause destruction and ruin. It means a fracture or a breach. When a man speaks in this perverse way - it is like a fracture in a leg or a breach in a dam. It causes great ruin in people's lives. Whereas the godly man's tongue brings a healing and a remedy - the perverse man's tongue only causes more damage in our already damaged world. Think of the number of times someone spoke perversely to you - and the destruction that such talk brings. Some might think it prudish to avoid such talk - but if you've watched the coarsening of our culture in the last 30 years - you know that such perverse speech only weakens our society. Even worse is the perversity of those who deceive with their perverted speech. Lies only bring destruction in the end - and the way that it crushes a spirit when the truth is learned is devastating. Thus, the perverse man crushes people's spirits. We've seen this several times in the book of Proverbs. The mouth and the tongue are very powerful things. The words we speak really do matter. As was said at the beginning of this meditation - those words truly can make or break a person's spirit. Be wise and use your tongue as a tree of life. Speak healing words to others and guard your tongue so that it is not loosed in talk that will crush the spirit of those who listen. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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